3 reasons why I feel that there is never a need to worry about how far or how fast someone else’s child is going
By Dana Rice
As moms of gifted and talented kids (doesn’t this include all moms?), we do everything in our power to help our kids reach their full potential. Many momagers stay up late researching auditions, camps, classes, and workshops that could benefit their awesome offspring. We drive long distances and juggle schedules like nobody’s business. For many of us, our role as momager takes center stage in our lives and there is nothing we wouldn’t do to help move our kids closer to their big dreams.
If we’re lucky we get to meet some amazing people along the way – influencers, celebrities, great coaches… and other talented kids and their moms. Sometimes great friendships grow out of this, but at other times this is where things begin to get ugly. It all starts when somebody – be it yourself or another mom- starts believing that being a momager is a competitive sport! Let me caution you, if you do this, you’re missing the whole point of being a momager!
Now before you get upset and stop reading, allow me to share 3 reasons why I feel that there is never a need to worry about how far or how fast someone else’s child is going.
We can all win because we aren’t even playing the same game.
What do I mean by that? Well, even though we may be at the same audition or on the same sports team it doesn’t mean that we’re all there for the same reasons. The “game” is the thing that our child is working to achieve in any given situation. Let me explain. Say you’re at an audition for a role and another kid is there to audition as well. On the surface, it seems that the goal is to land the role. However, this is most likely not the main goal whether we recognize it or not. Sometimes the value is in the audition experience itself. Sometimes this audition is merely a stepping stone to the next. So my advice is don’t sweat it when another kid gets a role. Rest confidently in knowing that what is for your child is for them. No one will be able to take that away.
Don’t try to stop people who you see as competition.
The trouble with trying to sabotage the competition is that by doing so we run the risk of making our child feel as though we don’t believe he/she is good enough to win. Whoah! Now that’s a devastating thought. Can you imagine how sad your child would be to think that their own parent doesn’t believe enough in their talent to not be jealous of the competition? Remember, it’s not necessarily the things that we say that sink in the most. Rather, it’s what we do that sinks in the most.
Another problem with trying to stop people who you see as competition is this puts up a barrier between you and makes it nearly impossible to develop an authentic relationship. Relationships are so crucial for your child’s career so it’s important to be open to others. As momagers, it’s often up to us to build relationships for your kids – especially when they are young. Nothing will shut down a relationship faster than trying to stop someone else from succeeding. Remember, we can all win because we’re not even all playing the same game!
Do everything you can to raise your level of knowledge and your child’s level.
While I never want you to worry that your child is competing with the other kids who have similar talents, I do hope that you make it your priority as a momager to teach our kids that they must compete with themselves. They must try to outdo the work they did yesterday so that they can be successful today and tomorrow.
So the next time you come across another child who is exceptionally gifted and talented, take the opportunity to learn from and grow with them. What does this look like? Little things like noticing how they interact with you as well as others go a long way to learning how to raise your levels and your child’s levels. Don’t miss out on the chance to celebrate someone else’s achievements! Celebrating others is a much-overlooked way to raise our own levels.
So what’s the bottom line? When my kids were very young, an older mom told me that I’d gain some of my closest friends because of my kids. As my kids have reached young adulthood and the late teens I have found her statement to be true. One of the best things about being a momager has been getting to interact with other moms who are on a path similar to my own. We may not all be at the same points in our journey but that is what makes it so great because we get to learn from each other’s experiences. That’s the whole point of this momager thing – helping our kids learn and grow while learning and growing ourselves.
Dana Rice is Momager of a teen actress and a teen musician. Dana is also the owner of Dana Rice Music’s FAME Studio in Buford, GA where she develops performing artists through piano lessons and vocal coaching.
For Info About Lessons, Workshops, and Her Music visit www.DanaRiceMusic.com
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